Nah bro, I got it this time.
Besides I’m a goddamn TANK. Bring on the campaign, the rum, the espresso and even the Sunny D. I can take all of it because Im the most haRDCORE DARK HERO TO EXIST
Now this was just insulting.
“Can’t you sing about something better? If you’re going to do this whether I want it or not, can’t you at least make it about something interesting, like violence?!” Laharl demanded, seeming just one step short of accepting his unfortunate fate. If he could get one wish, it would be to have his ears just fall off.
“Can’t you just add in a part where he gets run over by the friendly neighborhood bus?”
But it was too late.
Despite Laharl’s desperation, Axel kept on chuggin’ and would keep on chiggin’ till the cows came home then he’d sing to them too.
“HE NEVER WASHES HIS HANDS AND HE ALWAYS LEAVES THE SEAT UP
THE SLOWEST DRIVER IN THE FAST LANE
THAT ONE GUY WHO CUTS IN LINE AND TALKS ON THE PHONE IN THE MOVIES
Axel might have needed to tone it down, maybe this kid wasn’t ready for these hellalicious demon symphonies but god forbid Axel stopped midway, he was too far gone and much too in love with his own voice.
“I can’t handle it because you’re only a one-hit wonder!” Laharl growled, trying to bat Axel away from him. “And get out of my personal space!” Laharl didn’t take kindly to being manhandled at all, but the most he could do was struggle like a child throwing a tantrum.
“We are NOT having a Kiddie…Kitchen….Koncert!” Laharl crossed his arms, scanning the room for a small object he could get away with throwing at the intruder. “And what did I just say about that damn table?!”
Axel couldn’t hear him, the fingers were moving and the creative juices were a’flowin’. He opened his mouth ready to drop some kid-friendly beats;
”OHHHHHHH, AXEELLL-” he staggered a bit, having to alter the lyrics, “THE…friendly neighborhood Dark HeroOOO!!
THE…friendlIEST!! FIEND YOU’LL EVER MEEET! YEAAH!!!”
“The hell are you doing here?!” Laharl screamed, his voice ripe with agitation (but cracking in confusion). “I never…I never entered a damn contest! You’re at the wrong castle!”
This was probably the last thing he’d expected. Maybe this was a prank. Maybe one of his subordinates had signed him up for this. Unless he could convince this burr to be shaken off, he’d be lucky to make it out of the week with a shard of his patience left.
He pushed Axel’s feet off of the table with a huff. “That table’s for my feet, and my feet only! If you want a room so bad, you can try the cellar….and maybe one of your songs is catchy, but that doesn’t make me a huge fan!”
The words of protest seemed to bounce off of Axel’s sunshine colored hair, “Just one song?” Axel stared in disbelief, obviously this boy had fainted from sheer joy when he was listening to all of Axel’s OTHER songs and only remembered one.
That’s exactly what happened.
Axel quickly pulled Laharl into a tight embrace, “Oh you poor child! You obviously can’t handle all of my adult music, but fear not! I have a child mix just for my little fans!”
After plopping the young little overlord into a seat, he drew his guitar from seemingly no where and plucked a few tunes to get started.
“Lucky for you, I can water down ALL of my songs for you so you won’t pass out, so we’ll have-” he hopped atop the kitchen table, “THE UNIVERSES’ FIRST KIDDIE-KITCHEN-KONCERT!”
Just don't overdo it like you did last time. You won't impressing anyone after that many jello shots, and moi would just hate to take your share of mademoiselles for the evening again.
Nah bro, I got it this time.
Axel! It's been a while. Tell moi, were you planning on hitting the clubs again anytime soon?
Oh shit yes lets hit it m’man
Poppin mollies and snaggin’ dem sweet succubi
Laharl kicked yet another can of fancy tuna into the stack in the corner, which had reached about the size of a small child. It landed with a clank at the top of the pile, knocking the stack down.
He couldn’t keep living like this. What he wanted was food. Real food. Food prepared in a kitchen, cooked over a fire. He wanted company. With both of his favorite vassals absent, he was finally realizing just how much he needed them to function.
A rapping came to his door, and he looked up with interest: it could have been anyone, but he was hoping that his luck would finally, after seeming eons of blundering, turn around.
“Who’s there? Come in.”
“Hellllloooooooooooooo, number one fan!!!”
Axel bursts the door open and waltzes into the young Overlord’s room. He plops himself in a rather comfy royal chair and reclines, kicking his feet up on the nearby table.
“Congratulations, my young admirer,” Axel states with a grin, “You’ve one the wonderful Dark Hero Sweepstakes!” He raises his arms in the air for enthusiasm, “Basically, I, Axel the Dark Hero, get to room with you for one whoooollle week! You get to spend day in and day out hanging out with your favorite idol! Isn’t that sweet?”
He coughs into his hand a bit, adding sheepishly, “This also means I get free room n’ board, of course,” he then added quickly, “So! How long have you been a Dark Hero fan?”
If I can ask, what's been keeping you busy?
((Axel’s mun is a fag who broke his computer, thus rendering him unable to uh, run this blog
but the mun is gonna try to figure this out cuz he adores this blog uvu
I’ll be running at full capacity sooooon))
what is that??))
This is literally the best thing Prinny Bomb will ever publish.
Axel crept around Holt Village, his mission was clear and absolutely crucial to the rest of the world’s inhabitants.
He ducked behind the large summoning pot, then behind a pillar then hugged the wall of the largest house in Holt.
He banged the door a few time for good measure then quickly ollied away faster than a Catsaber at the sight of fish.
He’d defend his ding dong ditch record if it killed him.